Everyone has something that they battle with. Something that nags at them and is something they want to overcome and yet it seems nearly impossible to do.
One of my things is I am a people pleaser. I long for everyone to just get along and be happy. It honestly hurts my heart deeply when I know others are upset with me or simply don’t like me just because I’m me.
Know what I mean?
Over the course of the past couple years I have had to learn MUCH about not living to please others but rather, live to please my Maker. It is much easier to live to please God than it is to please everyone. The simple fact of the matter is, it is impossible to please everyone.
The problem with not being able to please everyone is that means I usually end up offending someone unintentionally, or hurting someones feelings because I failed to say hi to them when honestly, it was not intentional. Their seems to be a level of perfection that everyone expects from each other and that is a level I cannot reach here on earth. Perfection is something I would LOVE to have, but is not something I can attain right now so I mess up more often then I would like to admit.
The Lord and I have been on quite the journey trying to overcome this battle. It is not something that I have completely overcome yet, but I’m working on it. A few things I have learned along the way I would like to share with you.
First, I have learned a lot about casting my cares onto the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you” and it is a verse that I have learned from childhood. One night I was having trouble getting to sleep. There were issues not yet resolved and my mind and heart were just going over and over the ways to get this all resolved. My heart was heavy and since I knew tossing and turning would probably keep my husband awake, I grabbed my prayer journal and headed downstairs.
I found myself sitting at my kitchen table writing out the burdens of my heart in prayer form in my journal. As I wrote them and really gave them over to God I felt as if a true weight had been lifted off my shoulders. About 30 minutes later I closed my journal and headed back upstairs to bed and fell asleep within minutes. Why hadn’t I thought to do this sooner? Casting my cares upon the Lord is what has helped to keep me sane and has protected my heart from being hurt or holding grudges.
Second, I have learned that I have a lot to work on in my own life. I am an introvert and would be very happy to live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere the rest of my days. Learning to step outside of my comfort zone is something that does not come easy to me. However, I have also learned that sometimes people mistake the shy personality for that of a snob. Something I do not want to be accused of and have been shocked to find out! Sometimes I just have to shake my head at myself and remember that He’s still workin’ on me, to make me what I ought to be. If I am to minister to others I must be willing to step outside of my comfort zone. I don’t ever foresee myself doing a complete 180 to be an outgoing person always desiring the lime light, but I know I can be better than what I am now.
Lastly, and this is probably one of the biggest things I have learned, is that when we choose to live our lives to please the Lord and not man, we will face adversity. There are times I have found myself sobbing into my husbands arms completely convinced I am not cut out to be a Pastor’s wife. I always imagined this would be my life, but sometimes it is just plain ol’ tough! Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of wonderful aspects of ministry and I know we are right where we should be doing what God has called us to do. But, just like you, I have “those days” too 🙂
Proverbs 24:10 has been a good reminder to me, “If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.”
Giving up when life gets tough is not an option. Why? Because I have a God that is so big and so strong and so mighty, there is nothing He cannot do. There is no day that goes by where His grace will not be sufficient. There is no temptation or trial that is too hard that I cannot get through without Him. My God, THE GOD of the Universe, is SO good!
Learning to not be a people pleaser is not always an easy thing to learn, however, it is definitely something I need to learn and am thankful that God has not given up on me but that He is still workin’ away to create His masterpiece.