When God Does Exactly What We Have Asked….and It Hurts

As I was busy around the house one day I had some music playing in the background on our computer.  Songs that I love which are also upbeat and a great motivation to keep me busy with the tasks at hand.  Songs about God being good, words requesting God to deepen my faith in Him, praise to God, and even words asking God to break me to draw me closer to Him.

I scrubbed the kitchen counter top, literally scrubbing because dried cereal from earlier that morning required a bit of elbow grease!  As my hand moved back and forth over the stubborn spot I caught myself mid-song, really thinking about what exactly I was saying.

Words I enjoyed singing when life was going well, but at the moment it felt as if I could physically feel my heart breaking.  As the music played I had to stop singing, what I was saying to God through song is exactly what He was doing at the moment and it hurt!  Did I really mean what I was saying to Him?

I had found my heart battling at times against anger, frustration, and if I’m going to be entirely honest, I felt a bit betrayed by my Savior.  Though I know I never have been betrayed by Him, it was how I felt at the time.  Is it okay for me to even admit that out loud?  Have you ever been there?  Living your life for the Lord to the best of your ability, striving to point others to Him, sharing His love with others, and suddenly you are the one so deeply wounded.

What happens when we are sitting in a heap on the floor, God has moved, He is cleansing us, drawing us closer to Himself, but we don’t understand, there is no light shed just yet, and we are completely broken.  Those words we sang and meant with everything in us, but now He is moving and the hurt stings just a bit deeper than we expected.

Our tears are innumerable, our hearts feel to be in a thousand tiny pieces and there are simply no words to form on our lips in prayer.  The hurt runs too deeply.

What then?

Do we still  sing about God’s goodness?

Do we still remain faithful to Him, even though He is the One allowing our hurt to take place?

When He is silent and all we long for is even just the tiniest word from Him, do we trust He is still there?

Oh friend, I have been there.

When the hurt has run so deep and I have had no words to pray, I cling to Romans 8:26 which tells me that when I don’t know what to pray, the Holy Spirit is making intercession for me. {Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.}  

Our enemy would love to see us wag our fingers at God, turn our backs to Him, and pout.  Drawing us further and further away from God.  Truthfully, that only deepens our pain because we run from the very One who knows just how to comfort us in our time of need!  We carry the hurt and pain alone instead of letting Christ shoulder the weight with us.

Recently my husband heard a new song and when he arrived home from work he shared it with me.  I leaned against the kitchen counter, which was now thoroughly cleaned, and listened to the words.  The one phrase throughout the song that caught my heart was this, “The Lord will never waste our pain“.

It isn’t wasted.  He brings beauty from our ashes!  Listen to Isaiah 61:3, “to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.”

We see life through such temporal lenses, but we must remember, the pain will not last forever.  He will redeem our brokenness and replace our tears with joy.  {Psalm 30:5, “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”}

He will cleanse us, He will draw us closer to His side, yes, He will at times even break us to do so, but while He is at work, we must not turn from Him.  We must run to Him, hide in the shelter of His arms.  Let the tears fall on His shoulders and let Him build our faith as He carries us through even our most heartbreaking of circumstances.   We sing God is good when our life is coming up a bed of roses, but it is also possible to sing God is good when there are no roses, only pricks from the thorns.  Remember, He is good and nothing about our circumstances changes His goodness.  Ever.

Wherever you find yourself today, my hearts prayer is that you are finding yourself in the shelter of God’s arms.  Listen to this song and let it be a balm to your soul as you go through that seemingly impossible difficulty.  He will see you through and if we stay close to Him, we will see especially when we look back, that He was good even through our darkest of night.

 

Many blessings,

Wendy

 

Ps: If this post has been an encouragement please feel free to share it with others.

 

 

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4 thoughts on “When God Does Exactly What We Have Asked….and It Hurts

  1. Today’s post was so convicting! Thank you for being transparent and sharing yourself. I needed to hear everything you said. You have no idea how your words encouraged me today.

  2. I love your transparency in sharing how you even felt some betrayal, even though you know otherwise. I have been there, done that. Like you I know otherwise but in the midst of the pain our feelings don’t always match our faith. When I go to my Savior with full honesty He always honors that. Thank you for sharing yourself in this way. I needed to hear your words.

    • I have found the things I feel a bit hesitant sharing so openly, tend to be what someone else needed to hear or is encouraged by. Being real breaks down barriers and opens up opportunities to minister in ways we never thought possible! God is good and I am thankful He uses our weaknesses to help others! I am thankful you were encouraged today! Thank you for stopping by!

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